i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
