i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
