Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
