if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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