quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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