He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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