I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Buhtt sex?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
