I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Randomize
