can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
the day after is always just damage control
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
