his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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