Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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