Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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