dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
