Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
