I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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