thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize