I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
