ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
