We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
