I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
