if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
