Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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