I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
