You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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