Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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