Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
