i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
