Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
