Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
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