they need to just BURY HIM!
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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