Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
