I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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