walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
