We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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