Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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