i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
