whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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