Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize