I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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