Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
