I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize
