If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize
