TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
