Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
