my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just want to make out with him forever
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Randomize
