i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize