I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Randomize
