She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
