Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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