im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
