fuck your aforementioned shoe
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize