Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
