I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize