This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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