He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
bring money and cleavage
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
