My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Randomize
