How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
