Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Randomize
